Jean
Frazier is an Author, Registered Nurse and Intuitive Energy Healer. She
has worked in the field of childbirth for over 10 years. She is an
educator who has presented childbirth workshops, she is a Doula and is
experienced in Healing Touch and distance healing.
Jean recently published an eBook titled "The iQuickie – Because Life Is Sexy: What Women REALLY Think about Sexuality."
Jean
interviewed 32 women about their sensual, sexual and orgasmic
experiences. Twelve of these women's stories are featured in "The
iQuickie." Through the insights of these women and by encouraging
people to share their own stories on her website orgasmictruth.com, she
has created a forum for feeling fantastic about our sexuality and
embracing who we are. Jean relishes the humor of slippery sex and
unruly condoms. She also addresses the seriousness of birth control for
pregnancy prevention and preventing sexually transmitted diseases.
Jean recognizes that sex is so much more than how firm your ass is or
how few wrinkles you have. Sexuality is about what makes you come
ALIVE. It's about how you feel more confident, successful in life and
downright sexy! Her mission includes taking the shame out of sexuality
and promoting open, honest communication.
To read the first chapter free of "The iQuickie" go to http://orgasmictruth.com. Also, watch her video on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOrgasmicTruth
M E Hi, Jean, first, I'd like to know what your inspiration was for writing "The iQuickie" book?
Jean Frazier I focused on what really gets you excited in your
sexual life? Sexuality is such an integral part of our lives. I was
curious how we use sexuality and how can we integrate sexuality to be a
larger, more healing part of our life. It was fun for me writing about
how we allow both of those to happen. Including how I am actually doing
it in my everyday life, too. I was fascinated with how we are connected
on an energetic level with all types of people from babies to
octogenarians. I had conversations with people that had explored this
type of energy on a sexual level. When faced with choices that you or I
may never explore they didn’t let that stop them. I use that
inspiration in my own life to be more open in how I approach all
aspects of myself.
M E What type of people are you referring to specifically?
Jean I wrote the book with no preconceived idea of who I wanted
to interview except I knew I wanted to interview women. I focused on
females because I’ve been working with women for 10 years and it seemed
a natural choice for me.
I think my next book will be about men and what sexuality means to
them. I was asked by someone during an interview what the transgender
perspective is, in my opinion. So, I interviewed several and discovered
it really is about the body you inhabit, not the sex organs that come
with the package. It is about how you feel about your personal sexual
identity and how you reconcile that within yourself. Transgender people
have made the choice within to become the opposite sex due to the fact
that how they were born was not comfortable to them on a sexual level.
What they learned about themselves in the process fascinated the hell
out of me. I was blown away by the maturity of these people, some only
in their early 20’s. They made decisions in regard to living as the
opposite gender and all that entailed, which is not easy under the best
of circumstances. I found that with everyone I interviewed, whether
they were transgender, polyamorous, or anyone that had explored true
depths of their sexuality, there was always a high level of maturity.
M E I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine this
morning who is in an open relationship. She has really explored her own
sexuality and has come to understand that she cannot get all she needs
from one person. Consequently, she and her husband have a completely
open relationship. I think it is profound that there are people who
have chosen to live a lifestyle that society deems wrong, yet they are
honest, open, balanced and joyful.
Jean It pushes all of your borders and boundaries. I haven’t
personally done it, but talking to all of these people has gotten me
really thinking. What an amazing path they have had considering what is
and is not the norm in our society.
I found that when people are open and honest it touches me like sex
would. It gets down to a rawness and passion just like when we make
love. It intertwines with a vivaciousness of being you and not hiding
behind partial truths. It is attractive and for me that is what happens
with sex.
In writing on my Orgasmic Truth website and doing research for
iQuickie, I have to say it pushed so many of my own boundaries of how I
perceived what is okay sexually. I laugh when I think that I was
writing a book about the effects of sexuality for others and I realized
that it was, perhaps, more cathartic for me than anyone.
M E You have turned the spotlight on yourself, right?
Jean It made me realize why not pursue what turns you on and
excites you in life. I want to spend my time doing what I am interested
in. I was a RN for over 10 years. I saw a birth for the first time and
was so moved that I followed my intuition. I continued to pursue that
path and it fascinated me. I realized I didn’t need to be a midwife and
catch the baby, just being there for the birth was exceptionally
rewarding. As an RN helping women with the birth process, teaching them
to be okay with it, let go and not fight while feeling the pain was
rewarding enough. I found that the women who really got into breathing
and the flow of the birth process had the most sensual experience.
Their bodies would move in a sensuous way that helped the baby get into
the best position for birth. This was also due, in part, to them not
being confined to a bed so they could walk around and move. I found
that when women are allowed to move freely they find what they need
within to allow the birth to happen naturally. There is also a huge
bonding process that happens with their partner in the process. I
realized that men want to see and be a part of the birth process. As
much as I had always heard they didn’t, my experiences allowed me to
see firsthand that men are curious, fascinated and supportive of the
birth process.
M E For me personally, birthing was something that I could
hardly stomach, however being present for my twin boys birth was one of
the most magical experiences in my entire life.
Jean I came about writing this book when a man asked me about
the sensual experience of childbirth. He had never heard of that
process before. He asked me what I knew about the sexual experience
changing for couples after having experienced these sensual
childbirths. I wanted to follow up with some of these women after
delivery to find out what they felt and that lead me to start asking
questions.
M E Was that just an impetus for you to do research?
Jean Laughs. Yes, I literally made up a business card, passed it
out and the response was overwhelming. I started writing about women's
different experiences and wrote this entire book based upon those
interviews.
M E Wow! Really, wow, talk about being on the right path at the right time.
Laughs
Jean I interviewed 12 women for the iQuickie book online. The
bigger question here is how can we be more open and free and get beyond
the shame in our sexuality.
M E I created Mainstream Erotica for similar reasons. As a
sexual society we are in a place for getting beyond what has been
established but no longer works. This is a good time for us to let go
of those antiquated notions. With erotica becoming more main stream, to
coin a phrase, it is truly time for opening up and being honest with
ourselves sexuality.
Jean It seems that people think of erotica or sexuality as something that can’t be discussed.
M E People see erotica as taboo or pornographic and it is neither.
Jean The photos on Mainstream Erotica are really exquisite and
the articles informative. The photos are inspiring and make me feel
alive just looking at them. This is also relevant to me and what I am
doing with Orgasmic Truth. I use the words orgasm and sexuality which
allows others to see this as a positive message. Its okay to use these
words and it helps further understand on a deeper level how to use
creativity and imagination. It helps with relationships and in our
daily lives.
M E Imagine if people were actually comfortable talking about
their sexuality and how that would change teen pregnancy and STD’s,
while bridging the gap in relationships beginning in childhood.
Jean I had a conversation with a woman from Italy last week who
said their teen pregnancy rate is half of ours. This is due, in part,
to the fact that there is a much more open sexual awareness in their
society.
M E ME is in process of adding a parental advice column written
by a trained therapist. It will be a forum for parents asking questions
about their children, especially teens, regarding sexual issues.
Underscoring how to answer questions asked by children when parents
aren't sure how to answer.
Jean Personally, I want to know where teens are getting their
information. I remember as a teen growing up on Long Island, hearing so
many things that now when I think back on it, I wonder how I have
carried that information with me for all of these years, even though it
was the wrong information.
M E We are so impressionable at that age.
Jean It is true. In Orgasmic Truth I don’t pretend to have the
answers. I am putting it out there by asking that we think about
alternatives and our responsibilities. Considering for ourselves how to
be more honest in our life and how understanding communication can
change our life. Honesty is really fucking sexy it is the biggest turn
on.
M E Honesty is erotic and sexy.
Jean For me, when someone tells me how they feel and says, “This is
what I want” it is a huge turn on. Unfortunately, we aren’t conditioned
to speak the truth and be accepted. By saying what you want, it is
acknowledging who you are.
M E When I was Creating Mainstream Erotica, and declaring that I
was creating this publication, it opened up a place for me to be
accepted for a viewpoint that was different, yet relevant. Did this
occur in your writing for Orgasmic Truth?
Jean It totally did. It freed me up to put a website out about
sexuality that is classy, truthful and informative. I got really
interesting responses from people and most people were thanking me for
doing this. The response was phenomenal.
M E That also happened to me at ME.
Jean Ultimately, this has allowed me to look at my relationship
with myself and ask what do I want from a partner. What is longevity?
Some of the most significant relationships have been the shortest
relationships in terms of what I learned. Sexuality is so emotion
based. We feel things and it turns us on, especially women. A lot of
the women I talked to have had bad sexual experiences and have defined
themselves from that perspective. To be able to talk about these bad
experiences during the interviews was very cathartic for them.
M E I am continually amazed at the responses we get from our
readers who are grateful for having a place to ask questions. Having a
safe and honest dialogue goes into a myriad of directions. It is
monumental in the scope of what we hear and far greater than we could
have imagined. Communication around our sexuality in a healthy way is
our mandate.
Jean I think of the act of sex as a dance. I want my partner to
engage and participate physically and verbally. I found that if a
dialogue ensues between partners then they learn to ask for what they
want and tell their partner what they like and enjoy. It creates a
healthier dynamic between them.
M E Fear often leads the way for us sexually.
Jean I encourage people to think about their sexuality and that
is what I am putting out there. Thinking about responsibility and being
more open would totally change your sex life. I have gotten to a place
where I have started asking men out. Getting past the fear of rejection
has been huge for me and I wish I had done this earlier. Walking up to
a man, getting past the fear of them saying, “Who the hell are you?”
has been really empowering. It is something that I recommend all women
do. It also makes me realize that I don’t have to sit around and wait
on a man to ask me out. It allows me to be proactive.
M E When I have been asked out by a woman it has been a huge turn on.
Jean It is flattering.
M E It’s flattering as hell.
Jean One of the things that I have realized is that I have the
power and capacity to say no. Whereas I used to feel obligated to say
yes because someone had the courage to ask me out, now that I have been
rejected, I know it isn’t the end of the world to say no.
M E What do you want in a relationship?
Jean Writing my book has rewritten it all. I have been married
and don’t feel the need to go there again. I want a dynamic
relationship that has open communication. I want honesty. I want a
lifelong relationship with myself and I am learning to be content
within myself. I also want integrity with myself and to honor that.
M E Let’s shift gears a bit. We are doing a piece on living with
HIV and other STD’s in our January issue. Is this something that came
up in your interviews?
Jean I spoke with many people who had STD’s. A lot of guilt and
shame came up during the interviews. Molestation and rape came up and
I’ve been thinking about that. Many women that I interviewed revealed
that there had been abuse in their lives. It was remarkable to hear and
see first hand how important it was for them to have a forum to discuss
these issues.
M E Hopefully, with Mainstream Erotica doing what we do and you
doing what you do there will be a further awareness that Love and
Respect are ultimately the way for communication on all levels. Having
a forum that allows us to be open sexually, without pornography and
degradation, will continue to lead us toward that goal.
Jean I completely agree.
M E ME's mandate is having open awareness to our sexuality.
These types of conversations continue to bring awareness to our
readership and society.
Jean Absolutely!
M E I'd like to thank you, Jean, for your insights as we end our
conversation. Personally, I feel you bring a lot to the sexual forum. I
encourage you, our readers, to visit her website at
http://orgasmictruth.com and to read her book in its entirety. It has a powerful message.
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